Mother’s Day Today is Mother’s Day. Yesterday Denny asked me whether I would find it a difficult day. My own mother died in August 2011. I said it wouldn’t be difficult. Missing my mother comes and goes in waves. I always miss her, some days more than others, but I’ve never had the impression that …
Back-up-plan Because we have to wait 3 and a half months, I have time to focus on other things, and that’s not so hard with my first niece on the way! I do a maternity shoot with my sister-in-law Sarina, and my brother, and I just can’t wait until the baby arrives! On the …
IVF/ICSI on own cycle Luckily we make it up quickly. The whole way home we don’t talk to each other, but in the silence I understand Denny’s point of view, and he understands mine. We don’t need to talk it out when we get home. It’s ok. And ultimately it’s wonderful that this is possible, …
The final meeting in Bergen op Zoom On the 25th of March we go back to Bergen op Zoom. We’re not sure why we’re still going, because we’re already completely ready for the meeting in Gent. We don’t expect to hear anything we haven’t heard before. But we’re still a little nervous, because there is …
Tears After Mexico I get my period. So much for letting go. Halfway through March I have a really bad day. I have no idea why. I cry about everything. An email which I don’t like, loads of work waiting for me, Denny who (in my opinion) bought the wrong groceries. Nothing is right. In the …
Mexico I’m so glad we just booked our holidays without thinking ”maybe I’ll be pregnant then’, or we probably wouldn’t be here. We’ve agreed to just let it go during the holiday, and to talk about it as little as possible (or rather: not at all). We’re away for 10 days, and we’ve hired a …
The definitive result Two days before we go on holiday, the doctor calls me again. I’m doing a newborn shoot at someone’s home, and I’ve told them I’m expecting a call. When the phone call comes, I walk into the passage. Strange. Here I am. The newborn baby is warm and safe on the beanbag …
The phone call No, don’t let it be the doctor. No, no no! I drive into a parking lot just before the Antwerp exit. Maybe it’s better to not be driving. It’s the doctor. 🙁 “I have bad news. The sperm is not good enough.” I try to stop myself crying. I fail. He can’t …
The insemination Denny left early this morning, because his sperm had to be in the pot by 8:00. It’s amazing how quickly you get used to such ‘strange’ conversations. I’m so nervous! He phones at 8:15. He did it, but it was a strange experience. I ask what the ‘wank room’ looked like here, but …
The first injection We’ve been back once for another ultrasound, and my follicle was growing right on schedule. Well done. I’m proud of my follicle. 🙂 We’ve been given the hormone injection which I have to inject at 22:00 on Saturday, and 40 hours later ovulation should take place, and just before that the insemination …