Imagining
I don’t know how it is with other couples, that moment that you decide to go for it. How was it for you? My imagination takes flight; what will she (yes, I imagine in the feminine form 😉 ) look like, will she look like her half brother Max, or her half-sister Bo, where will I give birth, where will she sleep, what will her name be? My imagination runs riot!
My whole life (well, ok, a very long time anyway), I’ve known how I want to give birth. At home, in a birth tub. But that’s not allowed where we live because we live on the ‘wrong’ side of the canal, so I’ve made a plan to give birth at my father’s house. He just doesn’t know it yet, haha! I already know who I want to photograph the birth, because the fact that there will be a photographer there is 100% sure! I will NOT give birth without a photographer! Actually I already have a whole birth plan in my head, but I am realistic enough to know that things often don’t go according to the plan. In fact, if I don’t get pregnant, the plan will never even be written. I know all this, but I still imagine. It’s just such fun to do!
Sometimes I suddenly have doubts. Is that normal? I’ve waited so long until Denny was on board, and now I suddenly think: is this really what I want? Too stupid for words? I know I want this, but it is also a bit scary.
Ah, I keep swinging from one extreme to the other, but yesterday I got my period, so right now I don’t have to think about anything. 🙂