The reality of motherhood.
There seems to be a trend at the moment – totally honest blogs about the first weeks of motherhood. The more honest you are, the more chance there is that your story will go viral. Especially if you write about it not being as wonderful as you thought it would be, about sleepless nights, being unsure, physical pain, and a screaming baby.
Honestly? When I was pregnant I also thought I’d write blogs like that. About the bags under my eyes, the spit-up on my clothes, and the baby I wanted to give away sometimes. This was what people told me it would be like. I wrote about it earlier, when I blogged about the first few weeks after the birth. I lost count of how many times people said ‘enjoy the rest, while you can’, or ‘prepare yourself for what’s coming’.
I do understand that it must be comforting to read those kinds of blogs if your first weeks and months of parenthood were like that. If you know you’re not the only one plagued by insecurities, or finding it very hard going. That’s why those kinds of stories go viral – so many people recognise their own lives in these stories.
For that reason, I sometimes feel guilty that everything is going so incredibly well here. I do not recognise myself in even one of those blogs. I find myself apologising when I meet people, and tell them it’s going so well. And strangely enough, a lot of people still react with ‘Yes, it’s nice now, but just wait…’ That’s what I thought in the first week: she’s calm now, but later… Because if I believed everyone I spoke to, she would never stay that calm…
12 weeks later, and it’s not happened yet. We have a very relaxed baby. She usually wakes up just once per night. She wakes up sucking on her hand (which is enough to wake me), nurses without having cried, and then goes back to sleep and can be put back in bed easily, where she continues to sleep. It takes maybe 15 or 20 minutes. In the morning she wakes up smiling, and as long as you make sure she gets enough milk and sleep during the day, then she’s a happy baby all day long.
I’ve now heard ‘just you wait…’ so many times, that I automatically think, ‘maybe it’ll change.. for example when she starts teething, so we should enjoy this while it lasts.’ But who says it has to change? She could also continue to be an easy baby, couldn’t she?
So I’m writing this blog to be completely honest. No pretences at all. It doesn’t HAVE TO be that way. It doesn’t have to be incredibly exhausting, you don’t have to cry over you baby, full of insecurity. It’s also possible that you, like Denny and I, know what to do, and just enjoy the experience (I’m not saying we never do anything wrong, but that’s a topic for another blog, because that list keeps getting longer. :-P), it is possible to have a baby that has no problems and it is possible that to look at your baby every day and think ‘I am so incredibly glad that you’re in my life.’
It’s ok if you don’t enjoy parenting a newborn baby – you’re definitely not alone – but for those who still want to start their family, or are pregnant, it can also be nice to hear that it is possible to enjoy parenting a newborn baby, every single day.
So here it is: a positive story, and I hope that those reading this will also get to experience this, because to me it is the most beautiful experience of my life.♥