The ‘but…’

Have you ever felt like you were no longer in a situation, but kind of floating above it? Like you’re watching from a distance? I can see myself standing behind the bar, with this lovely man who is drinking mint tea for me, and whom I just very honestly told about my desire to have children. The same man who just told me he’s had a vasectomy. Of course; first you get the butterflies, then he turns out to be a nice guy, then he might still want kids, and he lives in Middelburg, and then… he can’t have children any more. This is just typically something for me. It’s almost funny.

Denny brings me back. “Hello, Marry, I said ‘but’, because I had it reversed.”


This information also needs time to sink in. So he can still have children. He tells me that he had the procedure to reverse the vasectomy directly after he got divorced. He did it for himself, because he wanted to. In theory, everything should work again, although he can’t be 100% certain of that. I sigh with relief. Suddenly I realise how bizarre it is to be discussing this before we’ve even been on one date. For now, it’s all good. I smile at him and ask, “when are we going to go out and have a meal together?”