In the last month we did our best, once again. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, right? We welcomed the new year – 2014 – with the idea that we’ll have a baby this year. I do hope so!

At any rate, I have my period again, so I call the IUI line again and hope that Mrs Incredibly Unfriendly will not be the one who answers the phone this time. Luckily, someone else answers. I need to start using ovulation tests, and as soon as I have one which is positive I need to phone them, and then we need to report to the hospital the next day. I don’t understand why we need to use ovulation tests – I thought they used sonogram scans te determine ovulation – but ok, it’s an academic hospital, and I’m sure they know what they’re doing. I still haven’t Googled anything, because I don’t want to be unnecessarily influenced.

I’m concerned that the dipstick ovulation tests may not give very clear results, so I now buy more expensive ones from the drug store. I’m supposed to buy the tests from the hospital themselves, but they’re very expensive, and I think it’s nonsense. An ovulation test is an ovulation test, right? I soon have a line on the test, but it’s not very clear. I know it will get darker and darker, so I wait a day, and test again. The next day it’s darker, but still not very dark. I’m so uncertain. On the IUI information sheet it says that when you have doubts you should call, so I do. I’m already having ovulation pain, so I feel that I should already be at the hospital today. I get someone new on the line, probably an intern. I tell her my story, and it seems to me like a clear story, which other people would also have, but the person on the other end of the line seems unsure what to tell me. Such a handy info line! She’s going to consult with the gynaecologist. We make an appointment for tomorrow, and I have to do another test before going to the hospital, and then we’ll decide what’s happening next.

I bring Denny up to date, and tell him we need to go to Rotterdam tomorrow. We were planning to go together, but it’s almost impossible, thanks to his work. I can see he’s feeling torn, so I suggest that we just go there separately. I don’t mind going without him, and maybe a friend can join me. I know that if I ask him to come with me, he definitely will, but I don’t want him to create problems at work.

He needs to ‘produce’ his sperm on-site, because we live too far from the hospital for him to do it at home. It has to be in the doctor’s hands by 8am, because they’ll still need to prepare it for the IUI procedure. That means he has to leave at 6:15am to have the time to be able to do what needs doing when he gets there. Poor guy…

In the morning (although it feels like the middle of the night), I do another ovulation test. I am still uncertain. The test is not very clear, but my own feeling says we’re already (too) late, so I decide to proceed as planned. Denny leaves at 6:15, and I need to be there at 12:00 so that they can do the insemination. A friend is going with me.

Will this be the day? I don’t even dare to hope… (but secretly I’m already working out my estimated due date).

PS. If you don’t know what IUI is you can find out here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Artificial_insemination#Intrauterine_insemination