Waiting weeks

On a Friday evening we go to the opening of a new place in Middelburg. And while there I suddenly develop intense pain in my abdomen. Oh no. 🙁 Is it going wrong already?! Positivity is gone. I try to keep going, but it gets worse and worse, so I soon tell Denny we should leave.

When we get home I sprint to the toilet, because I can feel all kinds of things, bleh. 🙁 On the toilet I see all kinds of stuff coming out of me. Oh nooooo! I’m sitting there staring indecisively into the toilet. I think it’s so ‘not done’ to call Denny and say, “Hey honey, look in the toilet and tell me what you think.” But I do it anyway… a new dimension to our relationship… ahem.

He comes upstairs fairly unwillingly. I’ve now flipped from being very positive to being very negative, and the only thing I can say is, “Well, there it is, our embryo, in the toilet. It’s that easy – yesterday in, and today out.” Denny gets angry with me and says that I shouldn’t think things like that, and definitely shouldn’t say them. It’s partly self-defense. This upsets me so much. He comes up with all kinds of theories, like that it’s the fluid they injected into me twice, or old blood from the procedure. It’s all possible, of course, but we’ll have to see.

And I still have to wait 2 weeks, because I’m only allowed to test in 2 weeks from Friday. This is going to be hellish. Not nice. 🙁