The final meeting in Bergen op Zoom

On the 25th of March we go back to Bergen op Zoom. We’re not sure why we’re still going, because we’re already completely ready for the meeting in Gent. We don’t expect to hear anything we haven’t heard before.

But we’re still a little nervous, because there is a chance that they will tell us that the sperm is not good enough for IVF or ICSI….

The doctor first takes the time to discuss the disappointment of the IUI attempt, but I am impatient. In my head I’ve already moved on to the next step. Finally he says he’s referring us for IVF or ICSI. We tell him we already have an appointment in Gent. The doctor here thinks it’ll probably be ICSI, but he’ll leave the final judgement to his colleagues in Gent.

Although I knew this was coming, it’s still really hard to hear it (and can I mention again how incredible it is that this entire process started with a doctor who said we could fall pregnant naturally?!?!?).

In the car all I can think about is that I’m going to have to inject myself full of rubbish, to cultivate eggs like a battery chicken. Oh, I really don’t want to do that. 🙁 Denny is in a completely different place right now. He’s happy his sperm is good enough for ICSI, and for the first time we do not understand each other at all! How can he be happy with this news?! “Don’t you see what this means?! Hormones, sonograms, egg retrievals, hospitals, misery!” We fight. Just to make it all even worse… 🙁

We don’t talk to each other the rest on the drive home.

What a crap day.