Plan B The word ‘defeated’ also applies to Denny when I get home and see him. What a horrific day! In less than a full conversation it’s decided: we’re not going back to this hospital. We have no trust in them, and the more we talk about it, the more I think: how can this …
Even Angrier She confirms what I’m thinking: “I think you’ve already ovulated.” Yes – I told you so! And now? “Oh well, next time we use the ovulation tests again, but then the ones from the hospital.” She can’t be serious? I ask her: “You think the ovulation tests here will give a different result?” …
Angry It’s a good thing I’m not sitting here alone right now, because my thoughts would have eaten away at me. The distraction is just what I need. We sit in the waiting room, and chat the hours away. At 14:00 a doctor – the one I spoke to on the phone – comes in …
Still some hope? I am so disappointed. I’ve looked forward to this moment for so long, and now, before we’ve really even started, it’s all over. Another month wasted. I repeat my question to the still uncomfortable woman on the other end of the phone: “What now?” “Well, I see you have to come from …
Stress After I’ve done the ovulation test I crawl back into bed. I wish Denny good luck, and ask him to call me when he leaves the hospital to head to his work in Den Bosch. Before my alarm goes off, my phone rings. It’s Denny. I look at the clock, it’s 8:15. He sounds …
IUI In the last month we did our best, once again. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, right? We welcomed the new year – 2014 – with the idea that we’ll have a baby this year. I do hope so! At any rate, I have my period again, so I call the IUI line again and hope …
Holiday When I get my period I am a little tense, but also enthusiastic, because finally something is going to happen. I’m not labouring under a delusion of immediate pregnancy, but the fact that we can try this six times is a calming thought. I nervously phone the number on the piece of paper. “The …
The step to medical treatment We eat a lot of sushi in September, October and November. I’m sick of sushi. No, that’s not true – you can always feed me sushi! 😉 But, still no baby. We haven’t had any missed chances (or eggs) since that fight, and it’s almost a routine now. It’s just …
Sushi For the first time since our ‘I-want-a-baby-with-you’ conversation, I’m sad that my period has come. I know we haven’t been trying for long, but still… the IUI is hanging over my head. It’s September now, and I think that’s the main reason I’m feeling this way. Denny isn’t feeling great at the moment. He’s …
Aunt After that we try the 10-day rule. Do you know this? From the last day of your period you have sex every second day, for 10 days. I know enough women for whom it worked. But I also know that on day 10 Denny and I looked at each other, and thought: do we …